2-11-2015

I am practicing letting go. The same friend with cancer that brought me here, doesn't wish to talk to me. I've given a lot of time and money and love toward them for the purpose of giving support. They did not ask for it. I gave it anyway. Now, they are turning me away and I have an opportunity to practice letting go.

I also have the same opportunity in letting go of a job recently that did not go well. I chose not to finish it because of the stress of working out of state and I want to be in Connecticut and feel that is where I should be. I'm doing this on faith and not sure the reasons. I just am going off of where I should be. Things are different now than they ever have been and I am stuck holding on to what I used to be. Well, I'm no longer a soldier, I'm struggling as an engineer, and I don't care for the shape my body is in. So do I hold on to the negatives, or do I let them go and understand that I can evolve? Buddhism says let it flow through. Don't hold on to negative and evolve.

I have to agree. I also find it interesting that the same response I gave to my Babtist preacher as a child is a Buddhist thought. ie, Babtists ask what you will say when you stand before God. I used to think it odd that we had to raise are hands in church if we knew we were going to heaven. The preacher asked me once why I did not raise my hand. I said, "perhaps God will want me to go to hell and give counsel to the ones in hell, to make their life easier". I said, "I won't know until I get there." He grimaced. Do we really know?