Letting Go

I've spent the last three years worrying about a person that said they were dying and I've given money and time and effort and begged them to talk and forgive because they were holding a grudge against me for being overly emotional.

They still are. Buddhism teaches about letting go and its difficult when you care about someone and they may or may not be dieing but you cannot force a horse to drink after leading it to a pond. I don't understand hatred or why people lash out at the ones that care the most about them. But I have to respect myself and their wishes without understanding. This is faith. This is letting go. The mind telling the heart its okay to curl up in the fetal position and whimper, but its better to stand and walk on before being trampled.

I know I am not the names I've been called. I know my intentions are true. I know it is wrong to teach hatred without knowledge to a child. I know loneliness will pass when this lesson is done. Nothing is permanent. Pain has only stayed because I gave it a seat at the table and kept feeding it.

The last month has been pain free without the name calling and the confrontation. Silence is a blessing. Its not my place to get the truth, but to know that the truth will rise to the surface as it always does. Its my place to believe.